He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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