was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
