I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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