Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
