wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
