I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
