Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
