I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
