32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
