My first STD was from a foam party
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
