Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
