im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
