ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
