i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
