That's intense
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
