I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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