im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
