when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
