Taylor Swift is so right about you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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