We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
