Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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