I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
