apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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