well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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