But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
