Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
