ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
