Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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