cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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