She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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