I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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