I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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