I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
