I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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