He kissed a someone with a penis
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
