Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
