I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize