My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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