do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
