I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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