he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
