i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
