well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We smell like vodka and hangover
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