apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
