i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
