So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
