Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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