Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
