do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
