Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
our cab driver is having phone sex.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
