You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
