i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also, beer. Big fan.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
