i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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