i just sent this text using only my big toe
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
