Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
