So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize